Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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