They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
