Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
