If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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