I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
