Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize