OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
