why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
