i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
