I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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