Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
