i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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