Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
