He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
