Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
