I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
