i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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