I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
