got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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