who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
