Can Purell be used as lube?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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