Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Boobs are out for the taking
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
