I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
