My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
