around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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