u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
