I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
