please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
