insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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