Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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