Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
