i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
