Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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