Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
