it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
