so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't notice because vodka
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
