Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Michael Bay diarrhea
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
