Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
