she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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