what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize