i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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