Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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