He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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