thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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