What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
