Moan for me like Helen Keller
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
