I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
