I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
