Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
