4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
