u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
