Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
