I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We have started to decorate penises.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If I die, sorry about rent.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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