u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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