I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just googled if crying burns calories
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Randomize