Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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